As Western civilization creeps towards actual civilization, transgender women are living—and dating—more freely than ever before. Still, the advice for dating a trans girl are a little more complicated than for your average relationship.
Sure, we probably all want to be courted and taken out—some may want to go Dutch, but not me, not on a first date. But there are other factors at play. While the trans experience is not a monolith, and no two women are exactly alike, most people I spoke with agreed that these tips were foundational for a relationship with transgender lady of transgender experience.
Just because you watch trans videos on PornHub does not mean you should date transgender women. It was the fourth-most searched category inafter all.
Bigotry is still all around us. You should know the basics: Stonewall, yes, but also Marsha P. JohnsonAct UpLucy Hicks Andersonand the latest laws affecting trans health care where you live. Reinforce her femininity. But you should also understand that she has a different lived experience than cisgender girls.
A top is the one giving, a bottom receives and someone who is versatile is open dating switching or doing both. A doll can present highly femme and be a total top. The next thing you will want to talk about is if transgender is pre or post-op if she even wants dating have vaginoplasty. If your girl is pre-op, her prostate will serve as her G-spot, just like you. This means anal stimulation may be key to giving her an orgasm. This is really the same as sex with a cis girl—you simply want to do what most pleases her, and communication is key.
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Frankly, you may encounter people source are rude or aggressive. As a trans woman I can say there is nothing more comforting than a man that can stand by your side with conviction. Knowing the kind of person they see themselves as is paramount. Going home to meet the parents is an established rite of passage for relationships.
Equally important—or in see more cases more so—is meeting her chosen family. This is a common concept in the queer community: Chosen families are the people who know you wholly and affirm your gender identity.
12 Rules For Cis Men Interested In Dating Trans Women
Their approval is something you should want. But there is a baseline you want to read more above—remembering pronouns is very important and easy enough, for starters. Some dolls have healthy and easy coming out stories and happy memories relating to their pre-transition life. Adoption is an option, of "dating." But many a doll has, under the advice of their endocrinologist, frozen sperm from before beginning their medical transition, and surrogacy is increasingly popular in the queer community.
The Takeaway
Advice a subscriber? Join GQ to receive full access to GQ. COM Instagram. Save this story Save. Your fetish is not a green light. Be ready for the fact that others may not understand your relationship. Educate yourself about queer and trans culture.
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Know that there are different ways to pleasure transgender trans woman. Deal with your own masculinity. Get to know advice chosen family.
Be ready for the fact that, if you date for long enough, it is inevitable children will come up.