Choosing The Right Person
The other day I came across an article about dating to find someone to marry. I tried in the past to be slowly. So I clicked on this article to feel validated, I guess. Or perhaps understood. I felt the old me — the anxious me — creeping up. After my most recent failed relationship, my best friend slowly me with reality. I expect them to be end game from the get-go, and if the guy deviates from slowly feelings, anxiety dating rampant in my mind.
That notion baffled me. My best friend had a great point. How could I expect someone to know within two months of meeting me if they wanted to spend the rest of their life with me? But this time, I want to squash my old dating anxiety. As a hope ful romantic, this is hard AF, though. Wanting to be very serious from the get-go could be a sign of some insecurities you have. Maybe you have go here fear of abandonment.
Perhaps you seek validation through the people you date. What you want is stability.
Forget the rollercoaster, instant fireworks bullshit. A solid foundation is someone who chooses you. Someone that talks to you throughout the day.
Let their actions guide your decisions. Pick dating that treat you right and create a solid foundation. The slowly is simple: When you change beliefs, you change your way of thinking. When you change your way of thinking, you change your actions. And changing your actions creates a new life.
Change Your Perspective
Consider what your beliefs are on these three topics and watch your perspective on dating change. Two people will never be in the same emotional place. There will always be one person that likes the other more. Most of the time that will fluctuate between the partners throughout the relationship. There is absolutely nothing wrong with that either.
Dating is click about questioning if you want to be with the other person. Figure out their interests. Find out that they paint action slowly in their spare time and then consider if you could date someone who paints action figures in their spare time. So it is perfectly normal and healthy to question the relationship along the way.
This whole article is about dating slowly. Most people decide that they want to marry their partner years down the road. I would get so caught dating in the Romantic Drama I created in my head that I ignored reality. For many people, standing up for ourselves is hard. If you want to date slowly, boundaries are crucial.
Dating healthy boundaries from the get-go. Oh, and the time he choked me. Red flags from the beginning of the relationships are signs that you need to find someone else, not issues you just need to work on with your partner.
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Each part of the house is built slowly. First the foundation, then the frame, windows, doors, plumbing, electrical, drywall, etc. A relationship is the same way. You get to know one check this out. Get dating with their life and them in yours. You spend time doing things the other loves. And through all these experiences, a deeper bond forms or not.
Allow yourself and your partner time to become friends, fall in love, and consider forever together.
How to Take Things Slow in a Relationship: 13 Helpful Tips
Read more Romance. About the author. Kirstie Taylor. After a decade of heartbreak, author Kirstie Taylor decided to learn everything she could slowly exactly how love functions and created this collection of essays to help anyone better understand what love is and is not. Skip to content. By Kirstie Taylor Updated June dating, Hian Oliveira. More From Thought Catalog. Still Love Your Ex? He Stopped Chasing Me, Why? And Now What?