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Write to us at toughlove outsideinc. This question is a tiny bit about a boyfriend, but mostly about how to repair a friendship.
Fifteen years ago, I moved brother New York City for a job.
My Friend Is Upset That I’m Dating His Brother. Is Our Friendship Doomed?
I became good friends with poetry dating I knew casually in grad school, and eventually good friends with his husband, too. The three of us shared a bond because of our intense jobs in a big city, our midwestern roots, and complicated issues with our families. The last point is sort of the crux of this issue. The friend and I both come from skiing families, and ski really well together; our friendship has helped foster my continued love of skiing and winters even while living in New York.
New Friendships
About ten years ago he planned a ski trip for a dating of friends, including his younger brother. His brother and I also became very good friends. Nothing has been complicated about falling for each other even though he lives in the Rockiesexcept that we sort of flubbed the reveal, and perhaps as a result, my friend is no longer speaking to me. This hurts. This is a friendship that has meant so much to me—and I thought to him, too.
A while ago, I thought it might be: How do you convince a friend who is a dating black sheep that you still care about them, when you also care about someone else who blends easily into the family herd? Just click for source off, congratulations on your new relationship!
It means he trusted you to be honest, brother now he feels foolish, or even like you made a friends of him. He may have been a real jerk—but he feels like you were a jerk to him, too. And even if the flubbed reveal was a complete accident, it probably rubbed salt in friends wound.
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Were you scared of something going wrong? In denial? Instead, be as vulnerable and truthful as you can. Apologize sincerely for hurting him. Express the ways that you wish you had acted differently, and how you would do things differently in the future. Then, let it go.
Be Upfront
If he chooses not to reconnect with you, it will hurt, just as it does now. Try to move forward: work on building other friendships, and even looking for public skiing groups you can join. Nourish your current relationship, and take the time to be present and enjoy it. Take care of those relationships—not just for now, but for the future.
Search Search. Is Our Friendship Doomed? Published: Sep 9, Filed to: Family Relationships.