Dating in your 50s

My experience of men for this time has been pretty awful. I feel used and played. I want to ask you about the role mobile phones play in relationships, particularly how they can be used to maybe allow people to cheat. Is this something to do with my age group? The last one, who I thought was all right, lied about being supportive and used me to help him through some kind of breakdown, then feeling much better went away on a cycling holiday and slept with someone he met, telling me quite proudly about it and his plans to take that forward.

What Is a Red Flag When Dating in Your 50s?

Is there any hope for women around 50s age? Beware of charm, smarm and promises and rely more on watching how someone behaves. Re-entering the market for love in mid-life is multifaceted. The people — including you — will be more complicated characters than you were in your 20s with complex histories and the problems that go with them.

You may also be more likely to be lonely and therefore more vulnerable. There is plenty kong hook up hong hope.

It seems dating to fall into relationships when we dating younger; we try out more 50s things and bump into more single people. When we are older, going out is more of an effort, we tend to be more set in our ways and some flexibility of attitude may be lost. I think it may be more difficult for two older people to form a strong attachment, as young people in couples can mature together. But it is far from impossible.

Dating Over 50: Advice from Matchmakers, Life Coaches and Gen Xers (Like Me) Who Have Done It

Thinking about that man who you helped get through his breakdown, because you had helped him, 50s was probably feeling understood and therefore had more confidence. It seems he took your attention as generously given rather than realising he was meant to reciprocate.

The other thing he was doing was having a shared experience on his cycling holiday with new friends so they had something other than dating to connect them. And this is the main problem with internet dating or a blind dates — these dates start without the foundation of shared experience. But when you work alongside people, or belong to the same group, then such dating relationship might have a more solid foundation than only having loneliness in common.

Loneliness is crippling and we may reach out to the internet to appease it — but the potential companions there may also be lonely.

Loneliness might even make you lower your standards, so seek groups of people to join rather than looking for one other person to appease loneliness. Lots of potential companions are your there and everyone is in a different psychological space, entering the fray with a different set of attitudes and wanting different things. Have as much joy and connection as you can get into your life.

Join everything.

On using the apps and keeping it fun

Use your spare time to do what you find satisfying. When somebody worthy next shows up, check out your and their assumptions about life, sex and companionship then compare and your. Expect setbacks, expect time to pass before you find what you want, but remember there are good people on your wavelength in the world.

You are more likely to find each other when you are doing what your love and enjoy.

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If you have a question, send a brief email to askphilippa observer. This article is more than 2 years old. Loneliness is crippling, says Philippa, and it might make you lower your standards.

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