The future of our relationship depends entirely on woman answer. Some people may see no harm in a man who dabbled for a couple of years in Final Fantasyorders Thai food at least once a week on Deliveroo, click here has a penchant for Taoism. As an East Asian woman, these dating red alert flags for me: abort mission. Society has taught us, especially first-generation immigrants, that validation comes with being invited to sit next to white people — even though none of us will ever actually make it to the table.
Dating as a woman of colour is stressful under any circumstances.
Being called exotic is just one reason dating gives me anxiety as an Asian woman
Add white men into the equation, and I can feel my anxiety going through the roof. I see compassion in their eyes, because they know what it tends to entail. The politics that come into play in interracial relationships are never easy given the marked power imbalance within society as a whole. If someone compliments you, does he find you attractive because of traits relating asian your ethnicity and culture, or because of the traits that are unique to you?
Even within China, women continue to be fetishised by white people. When I used to visit my sister in Shanghai, I would constantly get into arguments with white men trying to woo me with their lousy broken Mandarin.
Many white dating laowai are the direct progeny of Western imperialism and indulge fully in their East Asian fetishism. They reserve tables on rooftop bars and act like colonial soldiers, surrounding themselves with Chinese women whom they often provide for financially, even though most of them have a wife and kids waiting for them back home.
In the end, no matter where you are in the world, or how much you love and trust your partner, there will always be this little voice inside your head telling you that you could be replaced by another woman with the same physical features. All of that being said, I have dated really nice and loving white men who are aware of these issues — if not in the beginning, definitely by the end of our relationship.
Interracial relationships might always be political, but by asian conversations about the power structures at play, woman can work towards changing them.
Save this story Save. Read More. By Zing Tsjeng. Most Popular.
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