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A romance with someone who has lost a spouse may progress at a different pace
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You are now leaving AARP. A different privacy policy and terms of service will apply. It can be hard to interpret the signals when diving into article source dating pool at an older age. But when romance involves someone whose spouse has died, confusion may come with the territory.
A widow or widower's reactions to the dating process don't always follow the same patterns as those of people who are divorced or have never married. Surviving spouses may feel torn between honoring the memory of their deceased loved one and pursuing their own happiness. Dating a widow or widower may take patience, a willingness to embrace dating spouse who has died, and a commitment to step gingerly when it comes to introductions to friends and family.
And it's not right for everyone. The result, though, can be a positive, successful bond. Taking things slowly, emphasizing deep conversations, and communication are over to allow the relationship to progress at its own pace, Bobo says.
But because not all grief is alike, finding out how the former spouse died may shed light on what you're getting into. Lichtenberg, a clinical psychologist and gerontologist at Wayne State University in Detroit. He has been a widower twice. And even when a widow or widower is open to another romantic partnership, that doesn't mean the deceased spouse has been forgotten.
His current wife, of two years, Debra, recognizes that Lichtenberg will widower maintain emotional ties to Becky, who died suddenly of undiagnosed heart disease, and Susan, who died after a nearly four-year battle with breast cancer. Fred Colby, 72, author of Widower to Widower: Surviving the End of Your Most Important Relationship, says that a woman who encourages a widower to share his story fully — and that includes insight on his relationship with his spouse — will be much more apt to have a successful future with him.