One could argue that success and lack of success is just a matter of perspective. I receive e-mails every week from people who are successful asking me why they keep falling for unsuccessful dating. From the outside looking in and to put it in societal termsthis relationship takes the form of the catch dating the loser. The answer is low self worth. More often than not, successful people only got love from their parents or caregivers for accomplishments.
They only got praise when they were hookup travel someone. The rest of the time, they were either ignored or were treated like a burden. You go on to try to earn love from your parents and then from society by achieving. You granny hookup to accomplish in the hopes that the accomplishment will make you worthy of love.
You have a very poor sense of self worth and deep down; you do not believe that you deserve the love you want. You believe that love is a transaction and so subconsciously, you believe that if you are not offering enough through the way you look or the things you do for someone or the social status you give them or the money you makethere is no incentive on the other end to stay.
By securing a partner that has a reply, booboo stewart dating likely to gain by being in the relationship, you can guarantee that you will not be abandoned. Also, if you were to be with a responsible, successful, attractive partner, subconsciously you feel that you would suddenly be demoted and look bad in comparison.
Being with them would make you more aware of your shortcomings and your self worth would sink even lower. Dating soon, the love transaction turns sour. It turns sour because suddenly, instead of feeling valued and supported, you feel as https://wellnessways.info/interracial-dating-centre.php you have caught a parasite. The apathy of your partner and subsequent lack of success, saddles you with all the responsibility. They are self sabotagers because they were sabotaged.
If you are an unsuccessful, more often than not, you had parents that only gave you love when you were meeting their needs and wants. You were discouraged from finding your own success. Your life is a self fulfilling prophecy, where your apathy is accomplishing the loser thing you are trying to avoid by not trying.
To you, love is a transaction. Subconsciously, you believe that if you are not living your life for someone, you do not serve a purpose to him or her and so there is no incentive for them to stay with you. By securing a partner who needs you to cater to them, you can guarantee that you will not be abandoned. Subconsciously, you believe that if a person did not need you to support them and their success for any reason, there would be no incentive for them to stay with you. You also tend to sell yourself to your partner by talking a big game about your ambitions and current situation.
Deep down, you feel guilty. Deep down, you feel bad about yourself. Instead of feeling valuable and needed, you feel like you are a parasite. And all that needs to happen is for your partner to begin criticizing you for you to feel as if you are being taken for granted and taken advantage of. Successfuls feel that they are inherently unlovable for a great many reasons.
Unsuccessfuls feel that they are unlovable for a great many reasons. Looking deeper, we see that they share the exact same vibration relative to the loser they see themselves. Developing self-approval is a must for both the successful and unsuccessful. It is especially good when these things come from your list of answers to the questions you were asked earlier in this episode. Then, challenge yourself to think outside the box and elicit help from others to think outside the box and write a large list of things that make you feel better about that thing.
Chose things that enable you to approve of that thing instead of disapprove of it. I break people out of their monotony and captivate their attention.
Important Information
I can be with people wherever they are. Alchemy… I transform the dark into light Dark is the most transformative energy. All frequencies are contained within dark. I am always peering into the shadow dating life.
This means, I live a more real life than most. I like to have fun, loser my life is not all about fun. I use this life for my expansion. I use it as the tool that it is. If I am dark and I live in the dark, I have released resistance to the dark, and so, I am pure light.
Here are a few possible reasons people are susceptible to dating losers:
I can befriend those who are lost in the shadow and guide them through it. Because I am dark, I can form deep connections with people on all levels, not just the pretty ones. The darkness makes you feel like you are alone. Suffering makes you feel like you are not alone. I make it ok for people to go into the darkness and be where they are. Cleaning up the past, cleaning up the subconscious.
It is my passion. He who knows the dark within him, is self aware. The more you can think of the better. Aside from the lack of self worth inherent on both sides, the main problem with this relationship is that successfuls and unsuccessfuls both suffer from their dating on love.
Both people believe that love is a transaction. A transaction is like a business deal. It is the reciprocal exchange of one thing for another. They believe something must be given to get love. They do not understand that love is not something that can be earned.
They do not understand that love is something that can be given freely without incentive. What they seek dating love relationships is not love; so much as it is mutualism.
Warning Signs You're Dating a Loser
Mutualism is not love. But providing something beneficial for someone can be a good excuse for him or her to focus positively loser you. This mutualism is inherently painful because it makes unconditional love impossible. The second you receive love for something you do; you acknowledge subconsciously that you are loser for your being. Love is a unilateral experience. It is the state of unconditional presence. It is the state of positive focus towards something. In fact, the vibration of love and the vibration of appreciation are so identical that there is no need to differentiate between loser two.
That positive dating unites one with their eternal self and also with the person they focus positively towards. That positive focus does not have to be dependent upon what the other person does or does not do. After all, it is possible to focus positively towards and have positive feelings for an autistic child who is throwing a fit. Positive focus is about the giver, not the receiver. We did not get unconditional presence and positive focus when we loser young, unless we were doing something that caused our parents to focus positively towards us.
So we do not know what love is or how to give or receive it, any more than they knew what love was or how to give or receive it. Love is the word we use, when what most of us are talking about in our relationships is mutualism.
There is nothing wrong with mutualism. Mutualism supports oneness and unity.
How to Stop Dating Losers and Meet Someone Meaningful
But love and mutualism are two different ingredients to partnership. And if love is conditioned upon mutualism then neither partner can be assured of love unless they have something good to offer and keep up their end of the transaction. We have placed cookies on your device to help make this website loser. You can adjust your cookie settingsotherwise we'll assume you're okay to continue.
The Successful Dating the Unsuccessful. Go to articles Teal Swan Articles. Where can we send you your 5 free guided meditations Your privacy is our top priority. We promise to keep your email safe! For more information, please see our Privacy Policy. Sign In. Important Information We have placed cookies on your device to help make this dating better. Accept Cookies Dating Cookies.