If there were one thing that I had to cope with when my partner and I moved in together was that there would be many nights I would be home alone. When you are dating or married to a doctor, their schedules can be very unpredictable, and it will feel like they are never home.
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This will be very challenging in early relationships or in a relationship where your partner decides to pursue medicine and becomes a resident. However, I hard also say from experience that the unpredictability of their schedules from Residency to fellowship and attending life is still something that never changes.
This was the first thing I faced when Jake started his Residency. Almost every week, including most weekends, Jake would work long hours. In the first two years, I rarely saw him, which made me dating as an independent person.
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It took me years to be satisfied with being home alone, even nights at a time. I learned to accept that if I was going to be with this man, I needed to understand his work life and love my freedom and alone time. Know the balance between work and your personal life. Know that work and family come first, but only when time permits, because you chose this life of being doctor doctor, and Residency is the most important part of your career.
These are the years you learn to be a doctor and figure out more about what specialty is right for you. I wake up later and have breakfast alone. Jake typically gets home from PM to PM sometimes later, like 10 or midnight. By the time Jake got home, he had to do this or that for work, and they are no options because he needed to get it done.
Usually, I would greet him when he got home and then send him off to study. Then, I would return to doing this and that and get ready for bed.
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He would be annoyed and tired, and I would get angry, so I went to bed alone. Saturday and Sunday: Jake would wake up early and go into the hospital at 6 AM, and I would likely still be in bed. Most mornings, I am alone, as Jake is at work until noon or early afternoon. Key tip during these years: Being independent and balancing work and personal life is most important. This is very common for couples whose partner goes away for Fellowship for 1 to 3 years, and they make it work.
They are used to this life already.
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When Jake accepted a fellowship, read article was for 1 year, and we were able to move together because I was working remotely at the time.
He was at home more than during his Residency, but he still had long days and would bring his work home. Also, because there were only 2 Fellows in his program, they would alternate week and weekend calls. And, for any calls he got at night when he was on call, he would have to leave what he was doing and go straight to the hospital.
But, again, this only applies to places with residents and fellows. Not all hospitals have them, so the calls hard straight to the doctor.
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The doctor months will be more info huge transition at first; no joke, he will be home much more than you may be used to. This changes when they build a practice and dating more patients on their schedules.
Some would be easy to long cases, and they could happen at any moment in the day and even at night, so be expected not to be going anywhere far on these weekends, driving separately, or waking up to an empty bed in the middle of the night. The worst calls were alabama dating he had to wake up in the middle of the night and get to the hospital in 30 minutes. Some of these trauma calls ended up being canceled while driving to read more hospital, or they would cancel when he arrived.
I would worry some nights because he would have to leave during a snowstorm. After all, if there was a trauma, they needed to go. Some physicians also prefer private practice because they have more flexibility with their schedules, so it could always be an option for something you or your partner to look into and explore. Your email address will not be published.
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