I struggle with feeling rejected because of this. First and foremost, please don't tell me to ceo DTMF -- I am aware that that is an option, and at the moment, I would like to explore ideas for making my current relationship work before I decide that there is no option but to DTMF. I've been dating my boyfriend for about 7 months, and I think he's pretty great. He is smart, hardworking, can be very caring, and is generally a pretty awesome person. He started his company 5 years ago, and though it's really taken off, he still works a ton late nights galore, paired with early morningsdoesn't sleep enough, etc.
He is very passionate about his work, and this is one of the things I admire about him. He makes time to see me as possible we usually see each other one evening a week, sometimes two with friends his or mineand we usually hang out for the majority of a weekend day each week unless either one of us is out of town.
Although I wish I could see him more, I have accepted that that isn't going to be what our relationship looks like for the foreseeable future. I've read up on others' experiences with dating entrepreneurs, and inevitably the time thing ceo a challenge, and the advice is consistently that partners should be very patient and supportive to make a relationship with an entrepreneur work.
What I really struggle with is that, in the time we do spend together, I don't feel like he is particularly emotionally available. While he is affectionate if I initiate, he is pretty bad about initiating shows of affection. He doesn't really volunteer emotional store hook up he'll respond when I ask, but the response is usually pretty limited.
The relationship has progressed extremely slowly think: 2. Nevertheless, I've noticed that even when he'll tell me that his schedule is set and he can't see me more, he will make exceptions despite this. I do feel like things have progressed -- very slowly, but I do see signs of deepening commitment on his end.
I admit I have my own emotional unavailability issues and am terrified of sticking this out because it might not work this is a pattern for busy. I am examining all this with a therapist. I also have to admit that one of my big fears that causes a lot of my emotional upsets in this relationship is the fact that I am now nearly 29, and I do want a family.
I know all the rational stuff about how you can't just come up with a timeline for getting married, etc, but I know that this is a factor that is probably complicating this relationship that I need to figure out how to fix on my end. I don't know the guy well enough yet to say whether I would like to marry him someday, dating I would definitely need a lot more time to even think about that. I do get nervous about the current state ceo our relationship because it is hard not to think about what trying to have kids and a life with someone so busy would be like.
On the other hand, I would like to end up with someone who is an overachiever like me, so I know this might be one of those "choose your poison" types of situations. It'd be great to hear from any entrepreneurs out there who have an idea what his lifestyle might be like. Of course, I am also asking him about this and thinking through this on my own for when we reconvene to talk about it, but I am looking to generate additional ideas I might not have thought of.
Practical tips are super welcome. Summary: link. I know that ultimate it all comes down to choices, but I would like to give him a chance to learn if he does, in fact, want to. I would hate for someone else to rule me out because of things I am not great at, and lord knows I have my own relationship skills to improve.
How to Date an Over-Achieving, Busy Guy
What do you want in a relationship? If your needs are not being met,you are not required to be "more patient". He has a right to have his schedule, but you also have the right to have a relationship where you see the person X number of click the following article a week, and they are emotionally available when you do see them. If he's willing to change, that's great-but is he? Nothing you've written indicates that s the case. It seems like you've already compromised a lot on what you want and I fail to see why you should compromise even more.
But those seem like likely possibilities from what I can gather. That's just my take. PS- I've been in a relationship with someone who was emotionally unavailable and had little time for me. I felt like I was belittling myself and squeezing myself into a smaller and smaller box by telling myself that I also wanted "time to be independent" dating "didn't need to spend that much time with him".
He talked of spending more time together but never followed through. I later found out I was not the only person he was in a relationship with. Another way of looking at it that helps give perspective — and ceo do so for you too — is that being passionate about your work and seeing it as something you want to achieve in life, is the same thing as being emotionally invested in relationships and seeing a relationship and family dating something you want to achieve in life.
This is not a busy we're used to hearing, and when we do hear it, it tends to be "feminized" i. Why is "investment" automatically interpreted as relating to money, when one can "invest" in relationships too? You can see the cracks in societal discourse when it comes to "networking".
Why is "networking" seen as this clean, smart, businessy thing to do, when it is building relationships, i. Because you're supposed to evaluate and utilize the value of your network? Uh, yeah, that's called busy relationships.
It's very much a shame, because white men as the privileged tend to get this full throttle and really have issues seeing relationships as something they're already doing in their careers and thus could easily see as just as valuable in their personal liveswhereas we women, by dint of anything having the merest whiff of "relationship" being belittled, no matter how professional or societal-appearances-successful, tend to grok more easily that we're being sold a rotten bill of sale.
All that to say. Your boyfriend is aware he's emotionally unavailable dating his personal life, okay, but is he taking concrete steps to get better at it? Is he identifying ways he can improve or is he counting on "upsets" to push him?
You're seeing a therapist, and that's great. Has he https://wellnessways.info/hook-up-biloxi.php it? Does he see the importance of it? Regarding personal experiences. I too have dated ambitious men who claimed their work passion was what made them emotionally unavailable as if their passion was something external and not their own internal motivations and choices I used to think I was emotionally unavailable, but years of therapy and a lot of soul-searching have shown me that I'm just very protective of my heart.
I identified what it was about myself falling for unavailable men in my case it was because I misinterpreted it as the guys being confident enough to respect my independence; once I met men who actually respected me, the difference became very clearidentified what I genuinely want from a relationship, and accepted that given the dominant social discourse where I live — it's quite patriarchal here — and the fact that men who are exceptions are always taken when I meet them, well, I too need to love and foster my independence.
Men who claim they're emotionally unavailable and yet attracted to me, wanting me to give all the emotions, come up against my outstretched hand now.
I'm still single at 40 and fine with that. I wanted a family as well; maybe someday I'll have one? For now I have a career I genuinely enjoy, awesome friends, and an enriching personal life. I am the busy sole owner of a young company. Most of my recent relationships have ended due to issues similar to those you describe - I work far too hard, to the detriment of my own physical and mental health, and to the health of my personal relationships.
I have faith that when the right person comes along I'll give them priority over the company, but we'll see. As a thought experiment, imagine that he's the single parent of a young kid, instead of the CEO of a company.
That's how I feel anyway - it's my job to keep this kid alive, I don't have someone to co-parent with, sometimes I can get a babysitter so I can enjoy a night dating login, but busy time I'm out I'm dreading a call from the babysitter instead of truly being able to relax dating enjoy my evening out.
Unpredictable Work Hours
That might just be how I think about it, but perhaps thinking of it from that perspective may give you ceo insight. This might just be me, but I'm far more emotionally available when I don't have access to my phone - it helps me stay present in the moment and focus on who and what are in front of me. I also genuinely LOVE doing new and exciting things, trying new restaurants, etc. I can't plan a date to save my life An anecdote that combines these things: one of the hardest nights of my life was busy I read article a company milestone event to attend a girlfriend's birthday dinner - and kept my phone on.
Seeing all of the posts and photos about the milestone ruined my ability to engage and participate in the dating event I was actually at. I felt guilty, like I was skipping my own kid's birthday to go on a date with someone I'd only known for a few months. Caveat: I may sound harsh this is meant kindly. I am sorry but you should stop fooling yourself. You say you see your boyfriend once a week and every weekend when you are in townand yet this is not enough because he's not emotionally available even when you're together.
You sound as if you admire this guy because he is an achiever who deigns to give you a little place in his life. It sounds like you are not his priority and so he is not willing to compromise on his work and life balance just for you. There will come a time when he meets someone whom he likes more than anything and you realise that busy has managed to make himself emotionally available for her. I know this is not what you want to hear but I'm sure he doesn't believe that you are the real deal.
I may be wrong, and good for you if I am. But if you want to stay with him, you should embrace the relationship the way it is now. Either that, or you ask him to marry you.
It took almost 3 months "ceo" dating for this guy to kiss you. It seems it's a hassle to get him to spend time with you and even when he does spend time with you he still makes the CHOICE to not be there with you mentally or emotionally. This is wayy beyond just "emotional unavailability". It's taken him months to kiss you, you initiate all affection, you initiate catching up, you plan your life around the crumbs of his time and affection when he deigns to give them to you I dated this guy before, for eight years.
Desperately waiting for the time when I would become a priority. Didn't eventuate. And why should it, he showed me all along who he was, I just didn't want to believe it. After telling me for 8 years that we were going to get married, after we broke up, he admitted that yeah, that was never going to happen.
Then I met my husband and within a year we were engaged. Because a man who really wants to be with you will show you. You won't be wondering where you stand or left twisting yourself into a pretzel trying to turn yourself into someone he wants. Look, I'm sure this guy likes you well enough to sleep with you when he can be bothered in between venture capital meetings but is this how you envisioned the great love of your life?
Because every day you spend with this guy, is a day you aren't with the person who WILL treat you like treat you the love of their life. Just fade away.