A: Okay, I took a deep breath before I started writing this. It may sound like I am scraping the bottom of the pickle barrel, but many times, the parents have no clue about the boyfriend. He has chutzpah, this guy. So, you do have some level of discourse with this man, and that matters. So, things could be a lot worse. I agree that forbidding a teen to do something is courting trouble and is the quickest way to invite sneakiness and lies. So, is your relationship with your daughter such dating any criticism or even broaching the subject of the older boyfriend will result in a huge blowout?

Is your connection so tenuous that a conversation will push her into total shutdown? If it is, I have no judgment.

My 15-year-old is dating a 19-year-old. Now what?

And if this is the case, you still have a choice between abdicating responsibility and saying nothing and taking the full nuclear option of demanding dating not see each other. If your connection with your daughter is strained, start hanging out with her. Practice listening without offering too much in the way of critique or worry. As you get better at being with her and listening, you may find a way from unease to some comfort in discussing your worries and thoughts with her.

Our goal is to open a real discussion with your daughter. But if your relationship with her is pretty good, do you feel challenged when it comes time to create and uphold reasonable boundaries? From where I am sitting, your year-old is doing what she pleases and her boyfriend is telling you when he is going to have sex with her, and you are the dating one feeling uneasy? Sigh Again, I am not criticizing you. It is easy to let rational boundaries slip away if upsetting emotions feel too big. But this scenario is an invitation to step into your role as a strong parent.

That means voicing your concerns and having a conversation with your daughter about her life and your expectations.

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Realistically, I am not overly concerned that he is 19 years old. A year-old man may not be much different from a, or year-old boy, in terms of maturity. What I am concerned about is that your year-old daughter is spending her time with a man who has an apartment and a full-time job.

There are developmental milestones that he has had graduating from high school that your daughter may be missing out on if she is sitting at his place, watching TV and waiting dating lucknow him to get home from work. And call me jaded, but I have a very strong suspicion that if they are not already sexually active, they will be soon.

There is only so much unattended time two teens can spend together before the inevitable takes place. I beseech you — if nothing else — please have your daughter visit a good obstetrician-gynecologist to have a frank discussion about sex and sexuality. I am imagining your horror at this given that you are afraid to upset herbut the upset at seeing a doctor will pale in comparison with the upset of an unplanned pregnancy or sexually transmitted infection.

My challenge to you is to avoid the extremes of this dating scenario. Another challenge: Find your voice and use it. Your daughter is a young woman, but she needs her parent to step up and get involved. Your daughter needs you to help her navigate this relationship. Get in there. It is excellent, highly readable and reassuring. Find this over on The Washington Post. Tagged: communication with teen meghan leahy on parenting parenting teen dating teen sexuality.

Here My daughter is 15, and I recently found out that she has started dating a dating boy. I have met this boy several times, and he is very sweet and responsible, working a full-time job and renting an apartment. And he assured me that he will not be doing anything sexual with her until she is of legal age. Any advice? The good news? Yes, there is good news. If this is threatening to you, I strongly suggest you seek a good therapist and find your voice. It is your duty as a parent to face this with honesty and compassion.